Regrets
by himabindu97
Summary: Oliver Davis comes across some what familiar faces while taking a walk which leaves him regretting over a lot of things. Someone has to give him a little push.


**Hey guys! To my reviewers: Your reviews for my first fanfic mean a lot! please do continue to support me. You are free to point out my mistakes and give me suggestions. you can PM me too. I'm always open to criticism. This is my second fanfic. Let me know what you think.**

 **Bye!**

 **I DO NOT OWN GHOSTHUNT.**

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Naru ran his fingers through his hair as he sat in his office staring at the wall opposite to him. Somehow the wall seemed very interesting at the moment than the pressing issues he had on his mind. He felt like people were expecting too much from him than necessary. The lunch he had with the whole SPR team that afternoon with the exception of Mai1. He didn't need people lecturing him about what he had to do with his life. Even Luella and Martin gave up on lecturing him a long time ago. But then again his SPR team was always an exception. They somehow invaded his lttle space without his consent.

Actually, it made him a bit happy, having his SPR team mates fusing over him. Well, he won't mind calling them his friends...not that he was going to let them know that he cared, not in a million years.

There was a soft knock on the door which interrupted him in his train of thought. Naru immediately positioned himself like he was really busy, holding a file.

"Enter." The door opened to reveal his Chinese assistant holding a brown file and a cup of Earl Grey.

"I wanted to give you the file from the last case for you to review, before I fax the final report to The main branch." He said shortly and placed both the folder and the cup of tea on the desk before making himself comfortable in the chair across from his young charge.

Naru knew it was more than just the folder. Lin was the last person he was expecting a lecture from. So very annoying. Lin sat looking at his charge who was so very obviously ignoring him.

Lin cleared his throat to gain Naru's attention, who was just as composed as always, not even looking up to acknowledge the older man.

"I'm assuming that you are not privy to the topic I'm about to discuss with you." Lin said to the teen sitting in front of him, irritation setting in.

"I don't know what you are talking about." Was his young charge's short reply, who was still holding the file, flipping through the pages. Lin let out an exasperated sign.

'Does he always have to be so difficult?' Lin thought to himself before continuing.

"Noll, put the folder down. You have been doing nothing except flipping the pages. Avoiding this conversation will do you no good. I know the lunch didn't go that well. I'm not here to lecture you. Madoka is very much capable of doing that. I'm just here to...talk." Lin completed in a single breath.

Naru let out a sigh and dumped the folder onto his table before looking at Lin. He knew Lin wasn't the lecturing type, but still, today he already reached his limit.

"I know she is graduating next month, I know I can't hold her back, it's just... I need more time. I can't just jump in suddenly and confess." Naru said as he buried his face in his arms lying on his desk.

"We both know you have a reason for not making a move." Lin said folding his hands across his chest and leaning back into his seat. Noll suddenly sat back into his chair and stared back at the older male. He slowly relaxed after a few minutes and looked away.

"U can't keep Mai hanging forever you know." Lin said carefully, eyeing the young president. Naru closed his eyes, thinking before Turning to face the tall man.

"Since when have you been calling her by her first name?" Naru asked, appearing to be not interested in the answer, but his eyes held a hint of jealousy?! Lin rolled his eyes.

"I was under the impression that you hated the Japanese?" Naru asked sipping his tea, visibly seeming to be disinterested. He knew that Mai always had a way in dealing with people. But Lin was different. He wasn't the type who gets carried away by emotions. He wasn't the one to address people by their first name unless he deemed them absolutely worthy of his attention. Even though Naru knew it, he wanted to hear it from the Chinese man.

'A little playing around wouldn't hurt...' Lin thought.

"There are always exceptions." Lin replied shortly as he smirked.

"Like?" Naru pressed.

"Like the SPR team." Lin replied without any hesitation. Naru somehow wasn't surprised by his confession.

"Since when did u start liking a bunch of blithering idiots?" Naru asked a bit amazed.

"Around the same time as you did." Lin Replied nonchalantly lifting the folder he brought in earlier from the table.

"I guess it was bound to happened." Naru muttered to himself before looking away and running his fingers through his hair once again.

"I don't know about that, but you gave Mai a family, Noll. And she dearly cherishes everyone of us, you more. And I know you do the same...same as you did with Gene." Lin added as he noticed the far away look in Naru's eyes at the mention of Gene.

"I think it's time you sort out your priorities, Noll." Lin said standing up. He picked up the empty tea cup from the table.

"It has been a while since you have taken a walk to the park. I can close the office today, if you want." Lin completed and walked to the door. He opened the door and turned to face the teen one last time before leaving.

"Maybe you might find the answers you are seeking for, on the way." With that the Chinese man left the young president to his own thoughts as he shut the door behind him.

"Answers..." Naru said aloud, looking at the photo frame sitting on his table, of him and Gene.

Lin stopped his typing as he heard a knock on his door. The door opened to reveal his young charge with his coat on.

"I'm going to take a walk, close the office today for me. And reschedule any appointments to day after tomorrow." Naru said shortly before closing the door without waiting for a reply.

Lin smiled to himself and resumed his typing.

Naru walked through the busy winter Shibuya market place, slipping his hands into his pockets. He was never the one to love the cold weather. It made him feel sleepy and sick. Come to think of it, Gene was the one who always liked the winter. Naru never understood why Gene liked The warm sweaters and the hot coffee Gene used to savor while wrapped up with blankets looking out of the window from their bedroom when they were no older than ten. Gene also liked the sunset during winter. Naru could never understand what was so different about the sunset in winter than that of any other season.

"Winter symbolizes pain, Noll, and sometimes you cannot ignore it. Even though you want it to end, it makes you realize how precious the warmth of the sun had been. Pain makes you realize how much you loved someone, after you lose them. But, look here Noll, pain isn't entirely bad, because it is bittersweet. Realize what you have missed and just love and love and love. Just like you play and play and play in spring." Gene used to say it in a singsong tone placing both his hands on his chest and swaying dramatically. If only he could go back...

As Noll walked past a pet shop, he saw himself and Gene, no older than five petting a puppy. All those years, how he wished he could relive them once more with his brother. For every minute he spent scolding Gene not to get caught up in emotions, he could have just cried and laughed with his brother, playing along. For every minute he spent, heck wasted locked up,in his study, he could have just gone out with Gene. To go skiing in the snow hand in hand with his twin. To sit beside him and watch the rain drop race on the window when they were both ten. To have gone out with Gene to play in the park and to have comforted him when his favorite pet hamster died. How could he not have realized, how could he have missed, how did he stop...when did he stop being a normal person? Why did he stop?

"Would you like to take this rose dear." Noll was startled to hear an elderly feminine voice beside him. He was standing beside a bouquet shop. The woman, who was in her early fifties, was holding out a rose for him to take. She had short greying hair, which was of shoulder length and grey eyes and a light blue apron. He saw Luella hidden somewhere in her smile. Her husband who was standing beside her was scolding her for giving away all the single roses free of cost. His wrinkles at the corner of his eyes and his delicate scolding of his wife reminded Noll of Martin.

"Please ma'am, I insist on paying." Noll paid for the single rose. The couple bid him farewell with warm smiles. He wanted all those days back when Luella would hug him and kiss him on the forehead before going to bed even though he found it embarrassing. If only he could go back, he would hug her back tightly and tell her how thank full he was to have a mother like Luella and tell her how much he loved her. For all the days he spent studying for his Ph.D, he just wanted to be mischievous and get scolded by Martin, just like Gene did.

As Noll passed by a play ground, he could see a group of kids, boys and girls having a running race. Somewhere in the middle, a boy about six trips and dives headlong into the dirt. All his friends come to a halt hearing his cries and run back to him, help him up, dust him and start playing another game.

Friends are supposed to help when anyone from the group falls behind.

All those cases he spent with SPR team, every single one of them were successful. How he wished, instead of ordering them and insulting them, he could have just helped them in setting up the equipment. He could have sat with them and have a casual conversation for once. To fall in love and care with...

Mai.

All he did was insult her, order her for his tea, tease her and reject her finally. Yes, he loved Mai. He had made a mistake and hurt her. But she was patient, understanding and most importantly, she still loved him. After all his mistakes, she saw right through him, the him which was covered in dirt and scars and pain with torn and tattered clothes, covered by a cold, clean and merciless façade. And all he was doing was holding her back...

But how could he live with so much of happiness and love and respect others were giving him which he didn't deserve. He was cold, his tongue was sharp. This was all Gene's. Gene deserves this not him. Every single thing. Maybe even Mai...It was too late to turn back. His cold façade is going to be hard to lose. Old habits die hard they say. Maybe little by little he could show that he cared, that he loved.

Noll reached the gate of the park, he didn't visit it in a while. As soon as he crossed the gate to step inside of the park, cold winter air hit his face and ears. Noll brought his coat more closer to himself, walking to his regular spot in the park. He could see the sunset clearly from that part of the park. As he was nearing to the spot, there, leaning aganist an old, huge cherry blossom tree was his mirror image, facing the sunset. Everything was uncannily the same, except that, the one leaning against the tree seemed a few years younger. He shifted his gaze from the winter sunset to look at his younger brother.

"Took you long enough." Gene said, walking towards his brother, who was now facing the sunset. Noll, took a deep breath.

"The winter sunset, it's beautiful." Noll said watching the sunset.

"Yes, indeed it is. I'm happy that we were able to see it together again." Gene said. Noll noticed Gene's voice cracking.

"I want you to see it with Mai, next time." Gene said looking at his younger brother. Noll shoulders went stiff at the statement. They both fell silent, Noll trying to Analyze the statement his brother made.

"Do you want to know the reason, why I didn't tell you about the visions I had of my death?" Noll turned his attention to his twin. Maybe it was the timing Gene chose, but Noll was lost. Why did he want to tell him now? What purpose does it fulfill after everything was over.

"Yes." Noll replied shortly. Gene really wanted him to know. He had to push Noll forward or else he would be lingering in the past forever.

"It's because, you were blaming yourself already and if I told you, you would close your heart Noll. Shut it tight and freeze it until it was dead. I didn't want that. I wanted to see you happy. Happy with Luella and Martin. Happy with Mai. At least that's what I gave up my life for. You better pay me back by being happy." Gene completed, placing his hand around Noll's neck. Noll didn't respond. Not that Gene expected anything, he knew his brother was utterly useless in expressing his emotions.

"Stupid Medium." Noll muttered.

"So, this is the last sunset I will be seeing with you I Guess." Gene said looking back at the now almost sinking sun with sad smile. Noll didn't dare to look at his brother, the moment he dreaded the most was right before him.

"Noll, I want you to stop living in the past. It's over. You can't bring me back. There's so much waiting for you. Remember, I will always be watching over." Gene said placing his ghost palm on his brother's. Noll still refused to look at his brother's now disappearing form.

"Tell Luella and Martin I love them, Noll..." Gene said before glowing brightly and disappearing. Noll clutched the cold metal railing tightly. What was that strange hollow feeling in his chest. Everybody had leave eventually. Gene did today.

Wait, Gene? Who is that? Why were his eyes moist? Why is there a lump in his throat?

Come to think of it, his heart felt heavy, like he had lost someone... The feeling itself somehow felt familiar. Maybe his tea withdrawal symptoms were making him delusional. He could drop by Mai's apartment and order her around for some tea. Imagining the look on Mai's face if he told her that he just dropped by for her tea, made him smirk. It would be priceless.

Shrugging his shoulders, Noll left the park, and continued in the direction of Mai's apartment.

Watching his brother leave, Gene smiled sadly.

"You don't have to remember Noll, just know that I Love you idiot scientist." Gene said as he disappeared.


End file.
